We humans are social beings; we share mirror neurons that allow us to match each other’s emotions unconsciously and immediately. We leak emotions to each other. We anticipate and mirror each other’s movements when we’re in sympathy or agreement with one another—when we’re on the same side. And we can mirror each other’s brain activity when we’re engaged in storytelling and listening – both halves of the communication conundrum.

This view of the human state is directly contrary to the way most people think about communications. The old model has a sender, a message, a receiver, feedback and noise. It’s far too mechanistic and simple to describe adequately what’s really going on. It leaves out the communal nature of communications.

We want to achieve this state of human communion; it’s a mistake to think that most humans prefer the solitary life that so much of modern life imposes on us. We are most comfortable when we’re connected, sharing strong emotions and stories, and led by a strong, charismatic leader who is keeping us safe and together.

Of course, that can have a dark side. When the leader is unprincipled or lacks integrity, bad things can happen. But that’s hardly news. A quick review of any period of human history will demonstrate that sad truth.